Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
