sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
