I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
