I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sorry about my life...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize