I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
someone owes me an orgasm
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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