did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
