Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize