I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize