Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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