i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
