My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
