he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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