She said her name was "party"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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