i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
