She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize