I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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