i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
