I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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