ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
