why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
