I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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