I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i will never coherently bang her
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
