It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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