nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I did not marry a roomba.
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