he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
