Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
