i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i believe in u and ur pee
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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