Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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