i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
