i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
