remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
