Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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