Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
