I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
