Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
