I puked a lego.
too bad you live with your parents still
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
