haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
