yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
