You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
