I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
