we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
