Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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