I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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