ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
