if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
