dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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