i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Randomize
