My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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