Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize