Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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