I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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