I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
