is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
