So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
