my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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