They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize