take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
