why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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