Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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