More tranny stories later!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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