Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
