Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
