Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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