i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
