I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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