i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want her autograph on my taint
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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